it was tuesday last week (if i remember it right) that i said to myself na babalik na ko sa service. masaya naman ako sa buhay ko, alam kong i have God inside my heart, contento naman ako sa mga pangyayari ... pero alam ko din na in a way lumayo ako sa kanya. iba-iba excuses ko sa sarili ko para di magservice, andyan yung umuulan, may gathering, nagtitipid sa gas, nag-aaral, laseng, nahihiyang hurap sa mga tao ... at ang pinaka matinding palusot (if the word is right) is yung natatakot akong bumalik sa service kze nung nagpa-concvert ako, in less than a year namatay tatay ko, tapos just last july nadiagnose si mudrax na may cancer, natakot akong mawalan nanaman ng magulang, iisa na nga lang, mawawala pa. but i know na all those excuses that i mentioned above are all lame, whatever may excuse was for that particular sunday all boils down to the fact na nagpatalo ako, hindi nanaig sa puso ko ang Diyos --- o-ha! ;)
until last monday, during that inuman session with 2 new tamaraw lawyers, one of them said na "law school made me rediscover God. matutoto kang magdasal sa law school, lalo na pag barrista ka". it strucked me, big time! tagos! kaya naisip kong panahon na para magbalik loob ako.
earlier today, it was raining .... ayun nanaman yung utak kong crooked sinabi na "pag hanggang mamayang hapon umuulan pa din next week na ko service", pero i guess God really wanted me to attend the service, He made the rain stopped. i was supposed to attend the 7pm service, until friends texted me and said na 5pm service na lang daw kme, ayun naligo ang bakla, nagbihis at gumora sa 5pm service. andon ang barkada, halos completo may mga dagdag pa. lahat sila natuwa when they saw me, they even reserved a seat for me, nasa 3rd row kme sa gitna, sa harap --- hanep! the Word was given by pastor dan, tagos! wagas! tinamaan ako ng bongga! naliwanagan akong lalo about don sa panaginip ko sa stairs (previous entry), sabi "God tells me my future despite of my past". pastor dan shared na with God, he paves your future, you have the option to stick with your past or listen to his voice chuva, basta i can't remember the exact statement, pero sumthin of that sort. ang galing, parang para sakin talaga yung Word, swak na swak, WAPAK to the highest level.
another good thing with these people is that they don't judge you; gaano ka man katagal na nawala, san ka man galing, ano man ang iyong ginawa, all of them are just there, waiting for your return :) ang feeling ko nga kanina ako yung sa "prodigal son", hahaha. basta ang saya lang, ang sarap ng feeling na andyan sila kahit ang tagal kong hindi nagparamdam, ang tagal kong nag busy-busyhan, buti nga si God hindi nagbi busy busyhan sa kin, God is indeed good!
ito na ang simula, babalik na ko ..... kitakits ulit sa linggo :) Thank You God!
