the girl ...

If you love her that much,

Then I see no point in holding on.

When the skies are blue,

But there’s nuthin true,

It’s crystal clear, we’re thru.

You must understand,

That I really didn’t want to leave,

But when all you get is hurting and pain,

You come to a point & realize you must love yourself and nuthin else.

You keep on tearing,

And you’ve got no one to wipe it off.

When all you wish is for him to hold your hand & hug you tight,

But no, you will not find him for he’s holding else’s hand.

It’s crazy that I have fallen,

Knowing you won’t get there.

And so I ask you,

What’s the use of holding on,

When you’ve got your number 1.

Probably I was trying so hard,

Believed that we’ll make it thru.

I tried to fight and didn’t listen to the world around,

But in return, things just seem to be a one way street.

Things got unfair, I only get a divided share.

So I realized they’re all right,

I must let go and drop everything.

Yes, I may be the GIRL, but I’m not just the girl for YOU.

23 oct, 2013; 1336H

Hugs, Kisses, and a Pray'r

if only i could stay,

but i opt to turn around and walk away.

if only i could be her,

bet the horizon wouldn't be a blur.

if only i could take your hand everytime you reach for mine,

i definitely would but not when she would whine.

if only i could be the gurl in there,

i know we would make a great pair.

foolish this is,

all is a mess.

smiling yet close to tears

i need company, a beer may be.

quitter i may be

i just cant bear the pain inside me

for now i would just whisper things to the air,

i would send you hugs, kisses, and a pray'r.

written @ 1819H, 18 oct 2013

#mikeRN #damnimhurting #saklap #angsakitsakitna #akonalangakonalangpls

Sent: 25 October 2013, 1828H

nga-nga

i was living my professional life not that of a distance from "them", we were minding our own businesses until 3 individuals, 2 of which are influential persons, spoke to me and asked me to join their team.  they gave me assurance that come what may, i have a work to support my schooling. 

may 13, 2013, election day.  "he" didn't make it to the top 6, worse he doesn't have any plans with regard to my work, in other words, he left me hanging, he left me in the middle and walked away - both figuratively and literally.

so, where do i go from here?  after sacrificing a job which gives me security for the next 6 years, here i am jobless and penniless.  

i learned the hardway.  after the results came out, all we talked about were the outcome of things, "their" plans for a victory outing, etc. but nuthin that concerns their plans for the staff.

now it makes me think, did they just took advantage of my capabilities and connection?  did they just took me in because there's no one else they could trust since everybody will be busy out of town?  ... sigh, nga-nga!