Friday, November 23, 2007

My Christ-Like Walk, A Testimonial

I was born and raised the catholic way, I attended sectarian schools wherein a class starts and ends in prayer, I followed catholic traditions and/or beliefs – I love holy weeks per se … out-of-town trips, no traffic, reunion and bonding with cousins, seafood galore, overflowing liquors, yosi till you drop, cute guy sightings, etc etc … yes, I love holy weeks!

My being a wonderer started with me having “prophetic” dreams. I’ve had dreams of Jesus, the saints, the 12 apostles and the Virgin Mary. I also get to see things before they happen. I interpret dreams of people and eventually I became a psychic! As a psychic, I’m clairvoyant and clairsentient, I talk to spirits the psychic way, I have healing powers, I’m very good in remote viewing and mental telepathy, I’m a locator, I know how to tame Tengu’s, I know how to call Fame and Maat, I know how to use my wand, I’ve undergone the heart-stopping “Haring Bakal” experience, and others.

But inspite of the abilities I have as a psychic .. inspite the fame and showbiz contacts, I felt a certain emptiness. Psychic people make good friends, but you know it within you that friends aren’t all that … as the bible says, “man can’t leave with bread alone”. I left the show and went out of town for work, but I still have guestings whenever I’m here in the Metro.

During that stage of my life, I rarely hear mass, I’d rather go to the Adoration Chapel to personally talk to God, and of course quiet time with Him at home. Things changed when I get to contemplate on things last Holy Week, I was left in our vacation house, some relatives and my kampai buddy cousins went to hear mass .. and there I was alone in the terrace, puffing my lungs out while waiting for my kampai buddies. I then told myself that I want a more personal relationship with the Lord, and because of that statement, a religious expedition is then scheduled when I get back to Manila.

I love birthdays, christmas’ and holy weeks, I love to party and a party wouldn’t be F-U-N without Migs and Winston around (you know what I mean), so I told myself that I have to pick a religion who’s somehow like the catholic, not to mention the adjustments that must be considered. I’ve heard a lot about VCF, GCF, CCF (and the other CF’s), INC, Methodists, JW, JIL, and others. And because I’ve got VCF friends, I first checked out VCF-Galle.

My First Exposure to VCF – 4PM service in Galle. There were a lot of people! Mike and Bons accompanied me and we took the seats near the front. The service have started, the music ministry was already singing, my initial reaction: “hmmm ang gwapo niya, sino sha!? Parang I like this VCF na!”. Kidding aside, I was a bit shocked when people started doing a little “slam dance” and lifting up their hands to the Lord. For me, “like duhhh???”.

Service after service after service, I eventually landed to VCF-QC sometime July.

My early days in VCF-QC – Without knowing anyone, I drove myself to UPFI to attend the 5pm service. Initial reaction, “hmm wala mashado cute … si “hijo” lang”. I was torn between Galle and UP, not long enough I made up my mind, I like UP more.

The moment I have decided to be part of the VCF family, I started surrendering my life to God; I renounced psychism, been attending cell grp (which used to be baduy to me), did One2One with Bonna and Riz, more amount of tithes, participated in praise & worship, etc. But though I have started my walk to Christianity, my life wasn’t a bed of roses. Dad was diagnosed for LCa, ate has Ca too, dreamt of people (friends) dying, and others. With those at hand, I prayed to God to give me the gift of acceptance and understanding, the gift of strength and courage. I told myself that this is the time that I have to hold on tighter onto God’s hand, not to let go and not to listen to the enemy … Isiah 43:5, “do not be afraid for I’am with you always”. Just trust God and you’ll be a-ok.

After a few months, after Riz patiently did the One2One to me, there I was at the VCF-QC Center attending the Victory Weekend. I say it was really a victorious milestone to one’s life, the feeling’s overwhelming … its great! It’s like happiness envelopes you with a new family that welcomes you with a smile, friends to share your cheers and tears, , spiritual mentors whom you know will be with you every step of the way … Alas, its really a complete victory!

To date, at first I thought that living a Christian life is boring (baduy! Praise the Lord stuff), bible study and the others of that sort (duhhh, its so not me), almost 2 hrs of service (whoa!! No way) .. but things changed when I get to experience God. He’s there for me 24/7 – and yes, we get to talk, He answers me! Living life to the fullest wouldn’t be to the fullest if you don’t have God within you. Surrendering to God wouldn’t be easy if you’re not “overcomer”. You have to have trust and a lot of faith in order to fully understand His ways.

Just look at me, who would ever thought that a gurl like me who’s a 24/7 tigbak authority honorary member, Lung Center of Phils future # 1 stockholder, Miguel’s bestfriend (SMB), multi-lingual speaker (bad words), a typical pasaway, etc., is now paving my way to the Lord … let’s just say, I wanna invest just in the right things.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Living God's Will or Simply Leaving?

A couple of months ago, a job abroad was offered to me ... I didnt like the idea of leaving Manila because I dont wanna be away from my comfort zone; i dont know how to take the public transpo, i dont know how to cook, i dunno how to do household chores ... how about kobe?, my friends and family? what about my social life? gimmick and all that ... bloomfields! my VCF family, etc etc. Inspite of all those considerations, I went to my interview and gave it my best shot, of course I dunno wanna go home rejected! (ego, i guess). After all the other crazy antics of the company, I was told that I'll be leaving sometime soon ... and I felt sad! Weird! I guess, I'm just the only one leaving who wishes not to leave.
Ever since the beginning, I really didnt like the idea of me leaving Manila for 2 years, so I prayed to God and I asked Him whether or not the job is for me, whether or not it's really from Him or it's from the enemy. I asked Him to do such interventions in order to fully convince me on things, and to date ... hahaha! everything's seem to go well, I already got 1 of the interventions I asked, and I got a "go" message ... SAD!
Oh well, I guess I just have to learn how to fully embrace the fact that I'm leaving soon ... soon to the point that I may not be around for Christmas. Whether or not I like the idea of me working abroad, but since it's from God (not my will, but Your's be done!), I know for a fact that it's for the better .. that it's part of your plan for me (a future and a hope) ...
and because of that plan Lord, I will obey you and put my full trust in no one but You!
Music: Lead me Lord

Thursday, November 15, 2007

missing cy!

you used to be the reason behind my laughter and smiles.
your voice is my sun, your laughter is my moon, and your eyes are my stars.
how wonderful those days were ..
i just dont know what happened that in a snap im feeling distant.
i miss you, but i dont want you to call me ..
i wanna see you, but i dont wanna hang out with you ..
i wanna hug you, but i guess, it's better this way :(
missing you ...
music: Swept Away

Friday, November 09, 2007

CMT

you arrived just in time,
or so it just a thought?
you showed me sweetness and kindness,
you make me smile and you make look forward to the coming hrs.
what is this all?
a crap or show ... is this for real, are you for keeps?
i tell you, better speak up now before it gets too late.
Music: Promise
By: KAI

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

toothache

love is like a toothache.
when one is suffering from a toothache,
the entire body gets affected.
while in love,
when something's not so good,
you wouldnt be able to funtion well ...
TOOTHACHE! :(
music: You Wont See Me (The Beatles)