A New beginning, "take 2"

In the beginning there was darkness.

As I walk through the season of Christmas, I’ve got nothing with me … just the plain unarmed me in search of answers and in search for my old self.

Today is the 1st day of the year 2007 .... I say …


In the beginning there was darkness, just darkness!



Nothing follows.

The Year 2006

As I looked at my past, specifically the days of 2006, it both made me smile and sigh … here’s why …

Good and/or Happy Memories:

NPI show – Jan to April
New Car! – April
July 2 @ Mapang-akit St.
Went to Tacloban and met new bunch of friends – May to August
ING, Tt and MEAR contracts – January to October
Got reunited with God last August
Got friends with John again - February
The Break-up – December

Not so Good and/or Sad Memories:

Oral defamation from John – February
YK incident – August
Sept 15-16, 2005 revelation
Mid September to early November physical battles and oral defamation from KMSM
The Break-up – December

Now, that I have listed both the good and the not-so-good ones, I can say that it has not been a bad year after all. What’s important is that I learned a lot from all those listed above. My dad once told me, “no matter how bad and/or sad a memory of something is, it still enriched you as a person” … and it did!

sayonara twenty ‘o six, konichiwa twenty ‘o seven :-)

This Is It!

I’ve just got out of a relationship … a relationship which I will forever look back with both smile and pity to myself. I’m currently in the midst of nowhere, trying to compose myself back and doing my best to stand to whatever is left of me. I know this wouldn’t be easy, the way I’m feeling right now wouldn’t change in a blink. Though wounds may heal, there would be scars … and those scars will be with me for the longest time.


Here’s a note for you …

I’m sorry for all the shits I’ve caused you …
Sorry for causing you hurt and pain …
I wanna let you know that though we ended up this way, you will forever be my one and only BABY. I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved you.

:(

gd bye 2006, hello 2007

a few days left and it's twenty 'o seven ...
i'm kinda having mixed emotions here -
excited, nervous, happy, etc ...

no matter what that year brings, i say,
"Thy Will Be Done".

things will happen if they are meant to happen.
be ready, pray, and you just have to T ... Trust!

:-) Happy New Year

what the f***!

the hell of this shitty stomach ache, it's eating me alive and it's killing me. damn, i hate it.

Best and Worst

I used to wonder,

"can your Best be your Worst"???

Now, I stand here before y'all with the answer ....

Yes, because, My Best is also my Worst ....
but the hell of it, She is still the BEST!!!

... the greatest thing in life is LOVE, and love conquers all ...

that's why My Best is Worst ... yet my Worst is my BEST!!!



(:

Baby, Be The One...

I can think of nothing better

Than to know the one you love

For as long as we've been together

We should open up my heart yeah

If I gave you my heart

Would you be the one that I love

If I told you my feelings

Would you be the one that I trust

Would you make sure everything's fine

Would you hold me close tonight

Would you be the one that I love

Will you hold me tonight I feel like breaking down the walls

Welcome you into my world

I'm not afraid of what you find in me

I just want us to be closer, yeah

Confide in me, tell me all your fears

I wanna be, the one that you depend on

To share a dream, forget about the hard times that we'll face

Let's go all the way

a new beginning

A chapter of my life just ended and started last 16 September 2006. My life’s greatest chapter (so I thought) was crashed, everything down the drain with just a blink. I was unable to save a thing, just memories --- both happy and painful. I dunno what’ll happen next … my fairytale didn’t have a happy ending, instead, it left me sobbing and wondering to a lot of things.

In the middle of my quests for answers, I felt a set of arms embraced me … grabbed my hand and took me inside for a talk. The next thing I knew, I was already starting a new chapter of my life …

A new chapter with the same person …

I hope this would be The One … She would be The ONE!!!

Deep SHITTT!

A lot have changed, I, myself don’t even know who I’am now. I used to be the jolly, worry-free kikay gurl who loves to mingle with people … but now, I prefer to be alone, alone with no one but myself – stare at the ceiling and cry, talk to myself and/or to God and cry, watch the twinkle of the stars at night and cry, and think think and think and cry still … think as to what happened to me and to my life.

I miss the way I used to be … things are a lot different now … I dunno what happened and how it happened, I dunno when it started … all I know is that its damn killing me, eating me alive, and I couldn’t find the way out or the fucking cure to this piece of shit.

** commercial, let’s light a stick of cigar to that, Damn life **

I’m currently standing in the dark and turmoil surrounds me. I’m lost and so disoriented in this perilous journey to no where.

I wanna go back to my old self, I miss the way I used to be.

Making your way in the world today

Takes everything you've got;

Taking a break from all your worries

Sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

All those night when you've got no lights,

The check is in the mail;

And your little angel

Hung the cat up by it's tail;

And your third fiance didn't show;

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

You want to be where you can see,

Our troubles are all the same;

You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead;

The morning's looking bright;

And your shrink ran off to Europe,

And didn't even write;

And your husband wants to be a girl;

Be glad there's one place in the world

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

You want to go where people know,

People are all the same;

You want to go where everybody knows your name.

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

Birthday Blues ...

What's so special about today?

Ahh it's my birthday!

Got something special for me,

Anybody? ... God?

Oh life, life oh life ...

It's almost 3AM and I've gotta get some sleep,

Let's see what's instore for me today ...

As I turn 29 ...

Sigh .... sad ... :(

2:48AM, 29 Aug 2006

... alipin ...

ikaw ay mahalaga sa akin
di ko man maisip
sa pagtulog ikaw ang panaginip
malabo man ang aking pag-iisip
sana'y pakinggan mo
ang sigaw nitong damdamin
ako'y alipin mo kahit hindi batid
aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid
sana ay iyong naririnig
sa 'yong yakap ako'y nasasabik
ayoko sa iba
sa yo ako ay hindi magsasawa
ano man ang yong sabihin
umasa ka ito ay diringgin
madalas man na parang
aso at pusa giliw
sa piling mo ako ay masaya
ako'y alipin mo kahit hindi batid
aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid
sana ay iyong naririnig
sa 'yong yakap ako'y nasasabik
pilit mang abutin ang mga tala
basta sa akin wag kang mawawala...
ako'y alipin mo kahit hindi batid
aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid
sana ay iyong naririnig
sa 'yong yakap ako'y nasasabik
pagkat ikaw lang ang nais makatabi
malamig man o mainit ang gabi
nais ko sanang iparating
na ikaw lamang ang aking iibigin

No Matter...

No matter where I'am,
No matter what I do,
No matter what the situation is ...
I LOVE YOU!!.