I remember sometime July I told myself that I don't think I'm ready to enter a relationship, with all those sh*ts from law school, nahhh I don't think so. It was then that I was dating this cutee guy, a real gentleman, a former TV personality ... we dated for quite sometime but due to the conflicts in both our scheds, it didn't worked out, it's all good though, we're still in touch :) Later on, I was introduced to this guy, this time a law student from AUSL. He's like 10 years my junior, he's cute and can relate to my present world (school), but then again since he's much younger than me, our wavelengths wouldn't meet; he's into these things, while I'm in the total opposite .. it's just law school that interests us both, no more, no less.
I was perfectly doing fine in my own little world - work, school, friends and home, until February 2011, when I was asked to run for student council, and so I did, it's a different story though. But it is then which opened the door for me and for this certain guy. We we're technically running under the same party, but we never got the chance to talk (was it purposely, I dunno), until the day the team went out for our victory party. We eventually became close friends in a snap .. people were shocked to actually see us talking and laughing together. He started to text me every single day and we eventually started having dinners and a few bottles together. We enjoyed each other's company, we were comfortable hanging out with one another; no pretentions, no what so ever, we were just being our selves.
One morning, as I raise myself from bed, I heard a voice whispered to my ear saying "marry him" --- DUHHH, as if we are together!?! A few weeks passed and I told myself that if we continue what ever it is that we are doing, I might fall for this guy. At first glance, he's not my kind of guy, na-uh!!! Yes, he's tall, but he's dark. He doesn't drive a car, and he's way different from the guys I've dated in the past. Yeah, he makes me laugh (literally) and I enjoy our sweet arguments and discussions, he's eloquent and he's smart .. still there are somethings that I can't take :( I did things that is so unlikely of me, I risk even my reputation ... now I'm confused, goody school is out.
Sometime last week, I asked him if we could "slowdown" a bit, he agreed and told me that he thinks that that would be better for me too since he's still dating someone (damn whatta jerk huhh). From that day on, we never spoke a word.
I miss him, a lot :( I started to pray and God gave me His words that I should pray for it. Gosh, I'm so lost, signs are vague ... I dunno if I should take his word and wait for him, or was he just crapping out with me when he said that. What about the Words of God, are they really telling me to pray for him and be patient on things, or is it just that I dunno how to discern? Sigh, I dunno. I have to get the answers out of praying, I've gotta do a lot of quiet time in order to decipher things. I've gotta apply the Christian way of getting answers from Him ... I've gotta fast, I'd probably cut down on my food intake, no red meat for the next few days, no alcohol and no cigarettes ... I've gotta discipline myself in order to hear God's voice. I know this will be hard, but I'd rather do this sacrifice and get answers than forever wonder what God wants me to do.
AJA AJA, I can do this, my questions will be answered. To end, always pray the Lord's prayer ...
1 comment:
Nagulat naman ako sa ending. Kinikilig na nga ako nung binabasa ko yung simula and just waiting for the line "Yes, finally I'm into a relationship.... again!"
well, don't be too mental about this. if he's willing to take things slow with you and worse, tell it straight to your face he's also dating someone else, i guess he's not that into you. so why ask for intervention? do you really really like him that much??? there are alot of things going on with you right now. and this thingy with him, let it take its natural course. ayt?
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